6 years steeped in the trenches of academia.

Countless hours consumed writing research papers, analyzing manuscripts, taking notes in lecture halls, and translating lengthy passages of ancient language. Rewarding, eye-opening, and yes, exhausting.

Nevertheless, I have LOVED it. While many scoff at syllabus guidelines and await summer’s arrival, I hold on to moments of analysis, discussion, and peer review. Nothing gives me a thrill like dropping a pile of collected tomes onto a library table to cull through late into the night. I truly believe the Lord has shaped me to be a lifelong learner, as is evident in my dream to teach and conduct research as a professor and scholar.

However, at this point in time, I am deeply burnt out. But not in the way you may think. Yes, in the weeks after graduation, I was physically and mentally drained from the final stretch of early mornings writing, memorizing, and presentation preparation. My academic endeavors do lead to burn out at times. Yet, I remain just as excited to tackle new research and begin grad school as soon as possible. Rather, the tiredness I still feel, a year and a half later, is more an exhaustion of the soul: a tampering of the inner Creative once found frolicking through fields of artful aspirations. Years spent solely on analysis, critique, and exegesis have robbed my creative side.

Before entering the academic landscape, my imagination wandered to and fro, overflowing blank pages and empty margins with thoughts and ideas. Prior to college, I was traveling the world, registering its vastness through incessant journaling: collecting notes, quotes, observations, and poetic snippets in the leather bounds of now-towering stacks of notebooks.

I fondly remember moments when my inner Creative took flight—like the morning I crept outside into the early-morning mists of England’s Lake District to scale a tree, tattered notebook in hand, for a bird’s-eye view of the vibrant countryside. Or the afternoon I spent seated on a summit in Acadia National Park scrawling a sketch of rolling clouds while crafting a poem on the smallness of human existence.

Although I am drawn to academia, I miss those notes of nonsense, haphazard poetry, and scribbles of arbitrary verse.

Academia has granted me valuable skills and insights. Yet, I hunger for a reemergence of creative thinking after years of thinking critically. Not as a replacement, but rather as an equalizer. There is still a place for that Academic to come out and play — I want to pursue a career in it after all. However, I’m learning that, to avoid such intense academic burnout, there should also be a space to dream and create beyond the shadow of a syllabus or rubric.

At the moment, I am outlining a complete overhaul revision of my Senior Thesis in preparation for grad school applications. The prospect of diving back into an academic project and losing sight of creative endeavors is disheartening. As I begin new research, I hope to incorporate creative practices alongside my studies. Yet, my creative muscles are in need of reconditioning after years of disuse.

I find myself sitting before a blank page, trying to pry whimsical and nonsensical observations out from under a pile of thesis statements, supporting arguments, and citation guidelines. I feverishly think to myself, “I don’t know how to do this anymore. I’m no longer capable of painting a picture with words… The muscle memory is gone.” But I want to remember.

So, here I am - a Creative in recovery - on a journey to rediscover the imaginative process currently locked behind doors of logic and rhetoric.

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You may wonder, “This is all well and good, but what does this look like practically?”

I’m glad you asked!

Action Steps

Here are a few actionable habits and steps I have started implementing that may be helpful. Whether you’re similarly burnt out or are searching of a new spark, these practices are sure to kickstart creativity.

• Daily creative writing exercise Honestly, this habit was originally thrust upon me because I forgot to cancel the free trial of a daily writing prompt app and now have access to it for a full year… But! It has actually been incredibly refreshing and fun! As a double-major, I didn’t have free electives for creative writing or poetry courses as apart of my English degree. I could write a critical analysis in REM sleep, but task me with writing a poem about some ethereal concept? Pushing on a pull door. These exercises have challenged me in the best, most (effectively) frustrating way!

• I started a Commonplace Journal! - Commonplacing has entered mainstream popularity in recent years but is a practice that originated in antiquity. For years, authors, philosophers, and great thinkers used this method of journaling to collect observations, quotes, thoughts, and ideas. I learned about this practice from the YouTuber, Ruby Granger, and have enjoyed creating my own to jot down random musings throughout my day.

  • Re-establishing my “notebook ecosystem” - Y’all. When I tell you my notebook ecosystem used to be massive, you don’t even understand. I had a notebook for everything; my TBR, poetry, research projects, book reviews, junk journaling, favorite quotes, nature observations, etc… In recent years, that careful system of organizing my thoughts has succumbed to the great labyrinth that is my iPhone Notes app - most of which I have not given a second glance since their initial inscription. So, here I am, de-digitizing my thoughts and dusting off old notebooks.

• Opting to write on paper While I do still write on my laptop, switching to analogue writing has helped with eliminating distractions. Writing on paper (in one of the aforementioned journals!) allows me to disconnect and frees my mind to think creatively.

• Pushing through imposter syndrome - Honestly, I struggle with feeling talented or qualified enough to be writing (and publishing) the words on this page. I question myself constantly. My mind reels with all the beautiful writing I read from others each day and I doubt that I am fit for such a creative community. *Regardless,*I have been told that continuing to write, create, and put myself out there will only make it better, not worse.

• Find a community of like-minded creatives - I recently have had the delightful opportunity to join a local cohort of Creatives (we call ourselves “The Ramblers”), which has been so inspiring! Whether it’s an official gathering or just connecting with a friend, finding other Creatives who are passionate about similar things is immensely encouraging. This gives you a space to share projects, receive feedback, and ask for advice when you’ve gotten into a rut creatively.

• Actually writing thoughtful book reviews - I think the 6 years of writing literature analyses rung me a bit dry since I’ve recently found myself just straight bulldozing through books without taking time to slowww down and actually process aspects of a story that I loved/hated. And I honestly miss the practice of it. I don’t remember stories quite as well when I simply punch in a star rating and move on. So, I’ve started writing more full-length reviews for the books I’ve been reading, primarily over on my Goodreads account. But I also plan to share more extensive reviews here on the blog in the future!

• Engaging in other creative hobbies - While I am primarily focusing on creative writing, I’ve found that engaging in other creative hobbies like sewing, painting, junk journaling, etc… are just as inspiring. Often, these hobbies influence my writing and spark unique ideas.

Have you experienced a season of creative burn out? What practical steps do you take to reignite your imagination and artistic endeavors? Let’s chat over on Insta!

Much love,

Michaela Joy